Recollection of Love Calling

The first recollection I have about meeting God happened when I was about 4 or 5; my grandmother took me to choir practice, and the fellowship amongst the choir is a vivid memory that is easy to recall. I had been to Mass other times, but those moments aren’t as vivid.

I remember very few things about my childhood. Other memories I have include the three abusers who changed my life forever. I can’t even begin to describe how my stomach turns in knots when I think of children being sexually abused, yet those are the rare memories that replay in my mind.

My life has always been a hectic fight from conception, but I wouldn’t know any details until I turned 21. My father was a military man and my mother, his high school sweetheart was 16 years old when they met and 18 when they married. At 22, my mother had my brother, then hit a rough patch in her life. In the middle of that chaos I was conceived. I was born into a family that cherished their first niece, first granddaughter, first little girl. Well, that’s what I thought. I thought I was cherished by all. I had no idea people were campaigning for my death while I was within my mother’s womb or that my grandmother thought I was going to be a bastard, nor that my father might not be my biological father. My mother hid these things away from me in hopes of protecting me; I’m not so sure that it was me she was trying to protect by these secrets. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that she chose to keep me even with the odds stacked against her. (I don’t care what anyone says about her, she did the right thing.) So, of course, I grew up at my grandparents’ while my dad was away.

When my dad came home, my sister was born and life was rainbows and white picket fences! Yay us! Okay, no. I’d love to tell you that, but I’d be lying. Life was rough. My sister didn’t arrive in the world until I was seven. When she was born I gave myself one job: to stay by her side and protect her. At that point, I was being sexually abused until I was 8 or 9 by my step-uncle. Even though I had no idea that what I was experiencing was sexual abuse, I knew something was wrong, and so I knew that I was not going to let it happen to my sister.

We were a broken family with real issues and a lack of God. When you allow something to happen that hurts you without stopping it, it creates a cycle. I grew up on a rollercoaster. My brother was my best friend; he would have done anything to protect me. But, when we fought, he would knock the air out of me and when I’d run for help he would lock me in the room and make me promise not to tell. I thought they were innocent sibling fights, I wouldn’t learn until I was in my 20s that my aunt would watch my brother get beat by her first husband and then locked in the closet and had to promise not to tell his mommy. I was only receiving the pain and neglect and hurt he felt. I think back now and see what a blessing it was for him to take out all that anger on me so he could get it out of his system as a kid.

So that was my childhood. It consisted of being sexually abused by two of family members, receiving punches from my brother, and my parents’ underlying issue of their past adultery. (The third abuser was a one-time incident by a “close family friend.” In case you are keeping count.)

We moved when I was in the 5th grade, and things changed. Middle school came and went. I fell in love with my first crush, but was still dealing with self-esteem issues. High school hit and so did all of the awkward teenage years. Due to my rough history, I became a loner. I knew everyone, but I didn’t talk to anyone. My mother was already into church and going to a lot of youth rallies and prayer gatherings. I only attended to shut my parents nagging up and to watch all of the “hypocrites.” I saw everyone’s private lives outside of the gatherings, so I was so convinced that I did not want to be a part of that. I knew I wanted God to be a part of my life, but I knew that if I couldn’t invest my whole heart, I would be just like them, and I did not want that.

High school for me was full of very few friends, suicidal issues, self mutilation, and depression. I met my best friend “CL” who was an absolute a gift from God. We went to different schools but we began to hangout a lot and he was my distraction from the issues at home and school. I was continuing to hit rough patches with my mother and when I felt like I couldn’t handle it anymore I would call him and he would take me to adoration, for a bite to eat, and then drive me home. He never asked many questions, but he did once tell me that he hated seeing me cry and he didn’t mind waiting for me to finish. I was grateful. I knew God loved me, but I wasn’t drenched in desire to follow Him. I didn’t know how. I was, however, learning about Jesus in the Eucharist, a precious gift that got me through high school. “CL” finally went off to the service and we kept in touch through letters. God didn’t leave me alone, however. In my Junior year I met Juan. He was a reflection of what a real man was. We became good friends and hung out often. Whenever he wanted to hangout, he would ask my mother permission ,and after we hung out he would thank her for the opportunity. I wish I had let that sink in, because I realize now how much he loved me.

In my Senior year, I forgot all about what real love was. I was out of school during the second semester and hanging out with a girl from the class that had just graduated. Somehow, she convinced me that premarital sex was a good thing and that I would love it if I tried it. Now to put it in context, up until that point I was scared of any relationship involving a boy. I knew how harmful men were during my childhood and I hated almost all of them because of that. I allowed myself, however, to be fooled and fell into the lie that premarital sex was good.

After school finished, I moved away and I was on my own. I began to experiment with sex more and random relationships, yet I was still involved in the Catholic scene, trying to find something to hold on to. I went to World Youth Day in Germany in 2005 shortly after Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI was elected. My mother had signed me up, but I definitely wanted to experience seeing another country, and so I didn’t fight it. In my heart, I was longing for God to show me something, anything, to save me. Yet, nothing came. I did not receive any signs (none that I picked up on anyway).

When I got home from Germany, I moved to New Mexico. I struggled with self esteem as certain family members would call me “fat” and “ugly.” They had no trouble reminding me of that whenever we saw each other. Plagued by a lack of self worth, I turned to sex because it falsely reassured me that I was desirable and I desperately wanted that. Though I was still connected with the Church, I was convinced that God did not want me to have anything that would make me happy.

At the age of 21, I moved in with my aunt and her live-in boyfriend in Houston. I got a job at a law firm and the love of money began to eclipse God even more. My aunt wasn’t a huge church-goer. She was living together with a man and had no desire to marry, at least not right away. Though he is not perfect, he is someone that I respect and admire, especially for being so patient with my aunt. While I was there, I eventually found myself in an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship that lasted about 6 months, and when it ended, I was totally lost. The paychecks from the law firm funded my trips to South Texas to visit my brother, his wife and their newborn son. As time went by,  however, things went from bad to worse.

When I travelled from Houston to South Texas, I began hanging out with some bad friends and getting introduced to marijuana and pornography. I knew it was wrong, but again, I did not want to be another “hypocrite” in the Church. That was my thinking process. Looking back, I really wish I had kept in touch with Juan. God was trying use him to try to get my attention. Juan was always there for me, but I never gave him the love he deserved. He always made sure I knew he was a friend I could count on.

So the sins dug deeper and when my relationship ended so did everything else. I eventually ended up losing my job and was miserable. In my misery, I turned again to sex. I was angry and hurt and I began to lash out at people. When I had learned about my aunt’s abortion during her second marriage to my abuser, I threw it in her face. In doing so, I found myself living in my car for a few weeks. I would park at any business open 24-7 just in case I was killed or raped, to ensure I would have a witness to vouch for my whereabouts. It was Houston after all.

After some time, I found myself living with a mutual friend of a group of rap artists I knew. I was very much into the hip-hop scene. My parents were living in New Mexico and I didn’t want to move back there. I chose to stick it out in Houston. I continued smoking marijuana and hanging out with some pretty bad people. Sex, money, drugs and pornography were almost an everyday thing at this point. I didn’t want to just be a groupie to men of power, so I started demanding respect from pimps and dealers who I’d meet. My roommate was persistent about my being lady-like and constantly challenging my vast knowledge of worldly subjects. He coached me into being a cold-hearted female. He introduced me to a new world, a world I knew I didn’t want to die in. I was living foul but still whispering small rare prayers for God’s protection. I had money, weed, and I could get “anything I wanted.” Men became sexual objects I would use and toss away with no regard, no emotion, no attachment. I was an addict and sex was a high. I was known to the other dealers and pimps as a “Boss.” They wanted to build me up and make me even bigger in “the game.” They loved that I didn’t put up with anyone’s disrespect and disloyalty. Yet, despite the facade, I was scared for my life. I would have never openly admitted it, however. I asked God to help me, but it was not until my niece was born that I realized my life was nothing.

It was on a visit to see my niece and nephew that it hit me; if I continued my lifestyle I would either end up dead or in prison. I decided to leave. I told my roommate I wanted out and I wanted him to get out with me. While he encouraged my departure, he stayed. A month later, my usual hustle spot was robbed and a woman I knew was murdered and a few months later my roommate was sentenced to 2 years in prison. God had spared me and confirmed my choice was the right one.

I still struggled with my sexual addiction and was still smoking weed, but I moved in with my parents. My mother began dragging me back to church. I didn’t mind, however. I knew God wanted me, but He knew how stubborn I was. He never gave up. My life slowed down but my sex life was still going. As I began to be reconnected with the Church, my conscience began to wake up and I started to feel shame for my sins. I began to learn that if I died, my sins could lead me to Hell. I was scared, but I hoped that the Lord knew my struggle. I prayed all the time even though I was in a state of grave mortal sin. I was still getting into bad relationships and using men for my selfish pleasures. Yet, God was working slowly on my heart.

I started a pen-pal relationship in 2009 with a man named Jay, a man locked up for murder. I moved back to Houston, but I know how bad I needed a healthy long distance relationship so we talked about God. In December 2009, I went to a come and see and I felt God change my heart.

“He is the Ultimate Doctor but we must take the prescription.”

I believed that sex was love and I wanted love really badly, but it wasn’t fixing my problems. Jay became my best friend, I loved him. He supported my journey to God even though at times he didn’t understand it. Jay’s cousin and I grew close and she pushed me to become a better woman. She knew how much I loved her cousin and she wanted me to be the best woman for him, if God permitted that we would be together when he came home. Everything changed. I wanted to give Jay the gift of love from God, but how could I when I was overlooking that gift in my own life. The more we spoke, the more I prayed and asked God for guidance. In May 2010, I chose to become single and to pursue God deeper. In doing so, so I left Houston and moved to New Mexico, again.

Two years had gone by, and in 2012 I asked the Lord to send me on a mission while at church one Sunday. That night I saw Bryan Kemper, a famous pro-life activist, post about Fall Interns with Stand True, which is a Christ-Centred Pro-Life Ministry which he had started. I felt drawn to that and so I applied right away.

I got in! I got there and realized I had a lot of growing up to do, but it didn’t happen until I left. See I knew I wanted to serve God but I wasn’t willing to take the leap of faith to become vulnerable and share my entire story. It took these past two years for me to really pray and muster up the courage. It took pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. When I first told my testimony in full it was to someone I met during my stay at Stand True. I had realized how ugly my sin made me, I hushed it away for fear of rejection, but he was different. See, I didn’t want to admit I was a woman struggling with pornography and sex addictions while exhaustingly searching for God’s Truth. Yet when I begain to openly admit what God had brought me through all of those years, I began to experience my first sense of real relief. I got braver and told someone else, then someone else.

I was finally getting it! I was becoming accountable and confession was becoming my favorite thing to do. By becoming vulnerable, God began to break my pride and showed me how much He loved me through all of my darkest moments. I came to realize that He had pursued me my whole life. Just knowing that He loved me enough to keep pursuing me was more than any man could ever give me.

My renewed faith was tested shortly after I started my own business. I was out celebrating the new business with some friends and I received a call. Juan had died. I can’t even begin to describe how I feel about it and how it tears me up inside to look back on the impression he left on me, only to wish I had seen it sooner. Yet, now that I was growing in my relationship with the Lord, I realized then that death could became a beautiful thing. I had learned about death by the way the Saints talked about it, and Juan’s death was no different. Juan never gave up on me. Reflecting on his life on the way to his funeral,  I realized just how tired I was of living a double life. I wanted to have a single-minded devotion to the Lord.

Juan & myself, in our high school days.

My journey to God has been a life-long one. He has always shown me signs that He is there but He also did not force me to love Him. After all of His pursuing, I can say that I have never loved God so much in my entire life as I do now. He has also blessed me tremendously with loving people. I still have my issues with my family and they still have their own issues. I have learned, however, that whatever you are going through, someone will always have it worse, and before you judge a man you should consider that you know nothing about his life. Life is too short and if we intend on living it to its full potential, it has to start now. I am living proof that God loves you and wants you to be happy even if you think you don’t deserve an ounce of it.

Women Deserve Better

Earlier this year, an uproar was sparked because a few Ottawa Doctors are refusing to prescribe contraception or refer for abortions,  and sterilizations. This choice to act in accordance with their conscience for the sake of each of their patients has steadily become a cause for concern with many canadian citizens. A letter provided to their patients read:

Dear Patient,

Please be advised that because of reasons of my own medical judgment as well as professional ethical concerns and religious values, I only provide one form of birth control, Natural Family Planning. In addition, I do not refer for vasectomies, abortions nor prescribe the morning after pill or any artificial contraception. If you are interested in the latter, please be aware that you may approach your own family doctor or request to be seen by another physician.

Some patients also come to a walk in clinic for prescriptions of narcotics. The distribution of those drugs is controlled. Narcotics have a high potential for side effects, including addiction and they should be prescribed by a regular physician who is able to follow you. It is your responsibility to ensure that this physician will be renewing your prescription on time as I won’t do so in a context of walk in clinic.

With deepest respect,

Edmond Kyrillos, B. Eng., MD, CCFP
Ottawa Ontario

As a result of this, there has been a pull from the Conscience Research Group to have the conscience rights reviewed and possibly changed within the Physicians Code of Ethics for the Canadian Medical Association. They note on their website home page that they are “investigating the permissibility of conscientious refusals by health care professionals to provide health care services such as abortions. Our particular concern is with refusals to provide reproductive health care services.”

It is an important thing to question what is motivating a doctor in how they follow their conscience. The removal of the right to follow their conscience, however, will be detrimental. You can see more on this in the first part of this series, “Doctor Dilemma“. In the letter provided to patients, the primary reasons motivating their decisions are due to their own medical judgment and professional and ethical concerns. The “religious” reasons are last in the list. It is listed last because, although it helps to motivate decision making, it is the morals and values surrounding human life, that are further informed by their faith, that motivate their decisions.

These doctors know full well the terrible and masking effects of the pill, how abortion kills children, and how sterilizations for the reason of pregnancy prevention are detrimental to us and society at large. These doctors also know how well modern NFP (Natural Family Planning) benefits all aspects of life, including keeping marriages successful by promoting communication and respect of one another. I am a user of NFP which these good doctors advocate, and have experienced the wonderful effects of it in my own life. Modern NFP is a truly holistic concept. It helps to achieve and avoid pregnancy at a highly successful rate (a far greater rate than the Birth Control Pill), and in a manner that does not pose a threat to a newly conceived child. The method which I use for example is the Creighton Model Fertilitycare System, which can incorporate NaProTechnology. Creighton has a 99.5 % effectiveness rate with perfect use and 96.8% effectiveness rate with typical use. Even more importantly, however, is the fact that it actually helps to diagnose and treat medical issues, even before they can seriously progress.

The Creighton Method is only one of many effective NFP methods (which require total abstinence from sex during the fertile time to avoid pregnancy), but I will speak about this one in particular since I am a personal user of it. I should clarify that modern forms of NFP are not the Rhythm Method; that ancient form of NFP which was almost completely useless and had an extremely high failure rate).  It is also not FAM (Fertility Awareness Method, which rather than abstaining from sex during fertile periods, engages in it, while using “protection”). While the Rhythm Method is based on the assumption that every woman ovulates on day 14 of her cycle, other modern methods of NFP such as Creighton, help a woman to understand her personal cycle so she knows when she is ovulating, and thus how to avoid or achieve pregnancy. It is a personalized method geared to fit every woman and circumstance. This is achieved by tracking cycles. In the case of the Creighton Model, a woman “NaPro Tracks” her cycle, by documenting the observed cervical mucus or lack thereof. The benefit to using the Creighton method is that your tracked cycles are monitored by a qualified teacher, who can help interpret the chart and send the woman to a qualified NaPro trained doctor, should it be necessary. It is these doctors that assess these charts and can see from them the issue that a woman may be experiencing, and they can thereby help her.

I am one of those women. I was familiar with Creighton Model at the time of becoming pregnant with both of my children, though I was not actually using it. After experiencing my second miscarriage, and knowing that low progesterone (an important hormone needed  to achieve a successful pregnancy) was often a cause for miscarrying, I asked the OB/GYN who followed up with me after the second miscarriage about getting tested for it. She said it could not be done, that no one could check for that. Even though I knew she was wrong, I went and got a second opinion. While NaProTechnology considers every miscarriage a problem, most of our “professionals” do not consider it an issue until after a third miscarriage. What woman really has the heart to bear the loss of a child, and then another, and then another, before any typical doctor cares to help?

I was not willing to take this risk, so I went and received a referral to the nearest NaPro doctor. I had my first appointment this past July. He took one look at my chart, saying “I know what this is” and prescribed Metformin due to a “short luteal phase” during the time of post ovulation. Prior to taking this medication, I was experiencing a lot of PMS symptoms. I was extremely irritable and struggled with bouts of depression. I knew my period was coming because I could feel a noticeable change in myself. It was extremely difficult to deal with. With just one cycle (so far) on this new medication, I did not feel the way I did before. I know that my journey has only just begun, but there has already been so many great changes. I would not have known I was dealing with this had it not been for NaPro Tracking and the help of my NaPro doctor.

What has sparked my interest in sharing this with you was a Facebook conversation my husband had online recently. In it, a friend spoke of her fertility issues and the need for artificial birth control to aid in its control. She felt it was necessary that doctors be forced to prescribe these “medical services”, particularly “the pill”, because women like herself “need it to get by”. While I am not denying that it may alleviate symptoms, the pill is not the answer. To help illustrate this point, I decided to reach out to some friends within groups that I am a part of who have had severe cases of Endometriosis and PCOS. These women came to know of their fertility issues by the symptoms and using NFP Tracking. These issues, once properly diagnosed, either required serious surgeries, other medical assistance, or both. Due to the highly successful rates of the surgeries done by the hands of specially skilled NaProTechnology doctors, these women have come back nearly pain free, and being able to successfully conceive and bring the child to term on their own.  I wish to share just a few amazing testimonies which they have given with their permission regarding how effective NaProTechnology really is:

“My story before NaPro includes seeing OB/GYN’s for years (20 to be exact) and being told several untruths:

“Being a woman sucks and you have to get used to that.”
“You obviously aren’t in enough pain that you’ll take the BCP – so I question how honest you’re being about your pain level.”

The most intervention I ever received before NaPro was an ultrasound where they told me everything looked “beautiful and perfect”…. only to find out later from NaPro that I had low estradiol, very low progesterone, an ovulation defect, a luteal phase defect, the endo on my uterine ligaments, lots of inflammation. I was puking about 2 weeks a month, and laboring and passing massive clots. I was not “beautiful” on the inside as they had suggested.

I had endo excision via robot assisted surgery in the end of May 2013. The endo removal almost completely removed the GI dysfunction I was having. My sharp pelvic pain went away. I no longer had stabbing pain running down my thighs either. The really acute pain around ovulation disappeared. And because of the surgery, my NaPro fellow found a uterine infection (via sHSG) and a fibroid. Additionally, my constant nausea disappeared. We found a thyroid disorder and treated it along with my sex hormones. The endo removal was like peeling back the first layer of the onion.

NaPro literally gave me back 2-3 weeks of my life every cycle. And for a long time I didn’t write about my journey because I thought others had it worse. I never knew I didn’t have to suffer like that. Or that suffering like that wasn’t normal. It was the failure of my doctors for so many years to ever make me think it was normal.”

Some other short but awesome testimonies:

“I would have one cycle a year if that. After the OWR (Ovarian Wedge Restriction surgery) I had regular cycles every month and I’ve been pregnant three times now (one miscarriage). My hormones are much more stable and my periods are not excruciating anymore”

Another woman had the same surgery and states:

“I had an OWR. It completely eliminated my insulin resistance and my cycles became really regular (I planned my wedding around them). When I wanted to conceive, I had no problem but needed progesterone support (1 miscarriage and currently 23 weeks.)”

This lady had not had a cycle on her own in years:

“I had an OWR. I hadn’t had a cycle on my own in years. 35 days exactly after my OWR, I had my first un-induced cycle. In the 4 months since my surgery, I’ve had four. Unheard of for me.”

The surgical techniques done for these women by Dr. Hilgers (one of the creators of NaProTechnology, the Creighton Method, and the aforementioned surgical techniques) and his few trained surgeons, are unlike any other. Due to the advanced methods which he pioneered to prevent scarring and adhesions, which result in a lower recurrence rate for endometriosis, these surgeries have allowed for better outcomes for both health and fertility. Who wouldn’t want that? These women will tell you firsthand that Dr. Hilgers and his team are simply the best.

These doctor’s, such as Dr. Edmond Kyrillos, who are refusing these so-called “medical treatments” such as contraception (whether for medical issues or avoidance of pregnancy), abortion, or sterilizations, are in actual fact, looking out for their best interests because they know that these antiquated forms of birth control are doing these women an injustice. Women deserve better, and women deserve real solutions to help them in their reproductive health. Just as we have the right to refuse receiving a treatment that a doctor recommends, life saving or not, they also should continue to have a right to refuse to prescribe, when they know the treatment is not in the best interest of the patient. We need to let doctors be doctors. Health care is not Burger King, and you can’t always have it your way. The customer is not always right in this case. We also need to hold our doctor’s to a higher standard of practicing medicine. St. John Paul II said “Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.” Taking away the conscience rights of our doctor’s will only serve to harm us and them. Though a patient may not always agree with the opinion of their doctor, they need to have the freedom to care for us to the best of their ability.

 

I am Woman

Society has objectified the woman while still claiming to encourage her to live freely. The freedom projected, however, is a false freedom. For example, women are shown almost nude in advertisements to show a sex appeal to the viewer. It isn’t the clothes, the perfumes, the shoes, or the lingerie that are coveted, but it is her. Many women can now ‘take control’ of their own fertility and abuse it as much as they desire in order to live ‘freely’, or ‘safely’.  Is freedom to be associated with good looks, sex, and power over nature? And in this kind of freedom, can we find the definition for what it means to actually be woman?

Lately, I have been thinking about what it means to be a woman. Some might say that it means knowing if your soul is feminine. To others it lies solely in the body. To others it’s just a social construct and we can be whatever gender we want to be depending on where our sexual urges pull us to or push us from. None of these statements are true. It is in the beginning that we can find the truth. We need only to read Genesis to see how things really began in terms of our sexuality.

Genesis 2:18-25  is a powerful demonstration of beauty. God has just created the universe, earth, light, and life. He creates man, and when He sees that man shouldn’t be on his own, He creates animals for the man to name. It’s not enough though. Man has a longing for something greater. This greater something is Woman. Woman was created last, and she was created last because she is the pinnacle of creation, and she is to be loved and desired in a holy way. Women truly were the last to be created not because they were the least, but because they were to be loved and cherished. She was fashioned from man’s rib, close to his heart and to be protected. When man first saw her, he instantly knew that she was what was missing from his life.

Things take a turn for the worse, though. Satan attacks her first.  He tricks her to eat of the Tree of Knowledge, and man, who was also there, doesn’t do anything to stop it. In the end, they lose their innocence, and there we see the first instance of sin, shame, and the ultimate fall of man. While the woman will desire for her husband, childbirth will now be painful. There will now be enmity between woman and Satan, between his offspring and hers.

Woman does become new and changed. This change is in Mary. Mary is the new Eve. She is the Immaculate Conception, born without sin. She is the ultimate woman. She is true in love, in all virtues, and in her devotion to all that is good. Her perfection was planned. Only a perfect being could be the Mother of our Savior. As followers of Christ, we must imitate the virtues of His mother, Our Lady, and with her aid, we can be better children of God.

Sadly, women are targets in these times. Since the fall, we’ve had it hard. Labor pains, attacks on our sexuality, and attempts to take away what makes us women in the first place fill our history. Sin attacks woman with unrelenting force. Pornography uses women as tools and sends countless souls in a downward spiral. Birth Control and abortion allow women to have the feeling of being a master of themselves, but actually enslave them to fear and sin. By many, the gift of motherhood is seen as a burden, as something that should be avoided until it is easy or convenient.  Society demeans motherhood as an undesirable burden, and tells women that if we don’t want it, it can be disposed of the as soon as the opportunity should present itself. People will fight for the ‘right’ to not be mothers. Motherhood, however, be it physical or spiritual, is a gift, and we must be open to accept it lovingly and with gratitude.

Physically, we are built for motherhood.  Within our bodies, thanks to God’s creative genius, we are able to have life grow within us, be delivered through us, and be fed from us. How amazing is that! We are given such an amazing and beautiful part of God’s plan. The woman’s body is meant to bring things close. It is meant to care, nurture, cradle, and soothe. We can see this when a mother sees her baby for the first time after they are born.  When she holds that baby close for the first time and sees what has been within her for 9 months is there in her arms, looking back at her, it is enough to make anyone cry with joy.

The issue of a soul is one that is so incredibly flawed in our world today. So many see the soul as something that is trapped within a body, that it is possible to be a woman with a man’s soul or vice versa. This is false. With the creation of our unique bodies is the attached unique soul. The body is a reflection of the soul.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

“In Sacred Scripture, the term “soul” often refers to human life or the entire human person. But “soul” also refers to the innermost aspect of man, that which is of greatest value in him, that by which he is most especially in God’s image: “soul” signifies the spiritual principle in man.

The human body shares in the dignity of “the image of God”: it is a human body precisely because it is animated by a spiritual soul, and it is the whole human person that is intended to become, in the body of Christ, a temple of the Spirit:Man, though made of body and soul, is a unity. Through his very bodily condition he sums up in himself the elements of the material world. Through him they are thus brought to their highest perfection and can raise their voice in praise freely given to the Creator. For this reason man may not despise his bodily life. Rather he is obliged to regard his body as good and to hold it in honor since God has created it and will raise it up on the last day.

The unity of soul and body is so profound that one has to consider the soul to be the “form” of the body: i.e., it is because of its spiritual soul that the body made of matter becomes a living, human body; spirit and matter, in man, are not two natures united, but rather their union forms a single nature.”
( CCC 363-365)

Essentially, the body and the soul are completely unified. “Man and woman, He created them”, and He makes no mistake in forming us as Man or Woman. To assume that there was a mistake instantly points the finger at God saying that He made a mistake. This, of course, is impossible.

Sin attempts to separate us from God. He wants more than anything to take us away from him to feed his own hatred.  Attacking our sexuality is the easiest way.  Lust and envy are the obvious examples.  Satan really, truly wants to distort our already natural beauty and replace it with something else. Sin muddies our beauty. True beauty is only found when we allow Christ to form it within us.

We must glorify God through our bodies, through our hearts and minds, and be thankful for his love and mercy when we fall. Only He can raise us up. To be a woman is to be fully created as a woman. My soul, my mind, and my body are all feminine. My body is female, therefore every part of me is female and uniquely my own, formed by God and made to love God. He formed woman to love Him and to love man and be a companion, an Ezer Kenegdo, which means ‘help meet’ or ‘counterpart’. We must pray to him to help us in the discernment of our vocations, be it the single life, the married life, or the religious life, so that we can love Him better. We must seek Christ so that we can know the will of God. We must come to Him as we are, and offer it all up to Him.

Love,
CatholicRuki

Top Ten Tuesday: Quotes About Mary

May is the month of Mary. So, in celebration , here are some top ten quotes about Mary, our Mother! Let us truly get to know her, this month and take her words to heart as she tells us to listen to follow her Son.

1. ” Here am I, servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” – Our lady speaking to Gabriel (Luke 1:38)

2.  “My soul magnifies the Lord,
and my spirit rejoices in God my Saviour,
for he has looked with favour on the lowliness of his servant.
Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed;
for the Mighty One has done great things for me,
and holy is his name.
His mercy is for those who fear him
from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
He has brought down the powerful from their thrones,
and lifted up the lowly;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
in remembrance of his mercy,
according to the promise he made to our ancestors,
to Abraham and to his descendants for ever.”
– Marys song of Praise ( Luke 1:46-55)

3. “Do whatever he tells you.” – Mary speaking to the servants at the Wedding at Cana,  John  2:5

4. “I am the Immaculate Conception.”  -Our Lady of Lourdes, March 25, 1858

5.“Let not your heart be disturbed… Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health? Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything.” – Our Lady of Guadalupe to Juan Diego

6. “Never be afraid of loving the Blessed Virgin too much. You can never love her more than Jesus did.”– Saint Maximilian Kolbe

7. “She is more Mother than Queen.”-Saint Therese of Lisieux, Doctor of the Church

8.”All my own perception of beauty both in majesty and simplicity is founded upon Our Lady.” -J.R.R. Tolkien

9. The Blessed Virgin Mary is born to be Mother. The supreme consolation that Our Lady receives at the foot of the cross of her Son is the assurance that her vocation as Mother does not end with Christ’s death. The Lord commands the world, Behold your Mother.” The resurrection begins for Mary – and for us – with these words. The Blessed Virgin’s womb remains for ever fruitful. Mary leads us to Christ, but Christ leads us back to his Mother, for without Mary’s maternity, Jesus would become a mere abstraction to us. The Lord wills to “let his face shine upon” us through the face of the Mother of God. We “serve a Mother who seems to grow more beautiful as new generations rise up and call her blessed. – G.K. Chesterton

10. Mary has the authority over the angels and the blessed in heaven. As a reward for her great humility, God gave her the power and mission of assigning to saints the thrones made vacant by the apostate angels who fell away through pride. Such is the will of the almighty God who exalts the humble, that the powers of heaven, earth and hell, willingly or unwillingly, must obey the commands of the humble Virgin Mary. For God has made her queen of heaven and earth, leader of his armies, keeper of his treasure, dispenser of his graces, mediatrix on behalf of men, destroyer of his enemies, and faithful associate in his great works and triumphs.” -Saint Louis Marie de Montfort, True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin,